Sunday, October 14, 2007

JDate is Full of Freaks (and they all seem to find me)

How come all the freaks find me?

Here I am, minding my own business, trying to find a normal guy who will treat me nicely, and along come all these weirdos who want me to do odd things with them.

Weirdo #1:
Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: Whatcha up to?
Me: Not much. It's too hot to even move today.
Him: No kidding. I had to wear a thong today it's so hot.
A thong? Really? What kind of guy, other than a stripper, wears a thong?
Me: Yeah, that sucks. Well, I have to run actually.
Him: Do you have a few minutes for some cybersex
I block him

Weirdo #2:
After chatting a bit online (and I honestly should have seen the dirty direction this was going to go in, but I figured I'd give him a shot), we plan a date. We go to the same place I went with Daniel on our first date (which I have decided at this point will be my "first date" spot), and then come back to my place.

The shit that came out of this guy's mouth was totally inappropriate for a first make-out session. He wanted to sleep with me, I didn't want to sleep with him (not on the first date at least). He went on and on (and on and on and on) about how much he wanted me to do various things to him and how he was going to do various things to me. All I kept thinking was, "Do you kiss your mother with this mouth?"

I am not into dirty talk. Never have been. I feel silly saying this stuff. You should be able to know how your "cock makes me feel" by me moaning or screaming out in ecstasy while we are having sex. Don't ask me! It's lame, and you are stupid for not paying attention.

Needless to say there was no second date.