Sunday, October 14, 2007

How To Be A Pimp (in 3 easy payments of $19.95)

I go out with Shackelbolt two days later. Larry asked me out for the same day after I made plans, so I told him that we'd hang out some other day.

Shackelbolt and I meet up at the train station by me. Oh shit. He's wearing a yarmulke. He's also crazy dressed up because, as he tells me, he has a quick job interview that afternoon, which will only take a few minutes and then we can go out.

What the fuck?

Who the hell schedules a job interview and a date at the same time.

Oh hell no!

We walk to the park, and we are sitting on the bench talking for a bit. I am extremely uncomfortable right now. He is totally not reading my body language at all (which, if it could talk would say, "FUCK OFF") and is attempting to kiss me.

"I think you could be a keeper."

Are you serious? A keeper? We have been out on one date, and you are saying I'm a keeper? Are you totally stupid? Are you unable to see that I am pissed as hell right now?

"Yeeeeah, I don't think I can do this."

Awkward silence that lasts for what seems like forever

He tells me that he thinks I am making a mistake. I reply that I don't think that, and that I wish him luck on his interview, but I will be leaving now.

I walk home.

Larry is online and IMs me. "Whatcha up to?"

I make up a story about how my friend bailed on me, so I'm free the rest of the day, and he offers to come over and cook me dinner.


We meet up, go get some wine, go shopping and come back to my place.

It is awesome having a professional chef cook for you. I highly recommend everyone have that happen to them at one point in your life. Chef hours suck, but if you are willing to suck it up for a few dates, the rewards will be great when they cook for you. Trust me.

We had sex. It was good too, because it was the first time I had sex since Michael, and it was awesome. Plus, I got to have an amazing dessert after the sex.

This is too good for words.