Sunday, October 19, 2008

A Non-Date Between Former Friends With Benefits

So, I know this is not a post about a date, or someone that I am dating (or used to date for that matter), but I need to write about it, so here we go:

I used to be "friends" with Ilan years ago. We were introduced through friends, had crazy sexual tension for years, and finally got together about 3 years ago. I told him going into it that I wasn't interested in dating him. He's not Jewish, and I wasn't interested in dating anyone who wasn't a Heeb. I was still dating other people while he and I were "coloring", but I didn't sleep with them while I was sleeping with him.

All was fine until I met this guy who I was actually interested in. I told Ilan about him, and told him that we were done sleeping together.

He flipped out.

He cut me out completely. He apparently was getting more attached than I was, so it was hard for him when I told him that we had to stop.

We didn't talk while I was dating the other guy, but when they guy and I broke it off, Ilan and I met up again for drinks at the bar we usually hung out at.

Alcohol + Us = Sex

So, we were back on...sleeping together, but not being in a relationship. We decided not to tell our friends. They would kill us if they knew we were doing this again after how badly things ended the first time.

Fast forward to the night of the fight to end all fights. I had gone out with a guy (who I ended up dating for 4 months), and I decided that I didn't want to sleep with Ilan anymore. But, I also decided to not tell him about the date until after I was sure I wanted to date this other guy (since the last time I ended things early I ended up in a fight with him AND I ended up only dating the other guy for a few weeks). He, on the other hand, had let our friends know we were back to sleeping together. I found out about this hours before our friend's party. Needless to say, I was pissed, so I kind of ignored him during the party. We ended up getting into a fight in the cab ride home, and I told him about the other guy, and things got nasty.

We didn't speak for almost 5 months.

We kind of made up over the summer, and it was a completely platonic relationship. We hung out over the summer a lot and everything was fine.

And then he met his girlfriend.

I never saw him after they started going out (with the exception of our friend's wedding) until last night.

It was so odd seeing him again. Here are the highlights:
1) He looks great.....grrrrrr....
2) His girlfriend is horrible....I've heard stories from his friends about her, but he was telling me things about her that made me want to punch her in the face.
3) He and I were reminiscing about our past...and I was getting turned on thinking about it.
4) When I told him that our friends were busting my chops about us hanging out again, and I said that I told them that I would never sleep with him while he was dating his girlfriend, I was kind of hoping that he would be annoyed about that and want to sleep with me again.

Either way, it was a fun time. I never realized how much I missed talking to him until last night. I feel so comfortable sometimes around him. I said things to him that I don't think I'd say to anyone. We are very similar in some ways.

It sucks that he has a girlfriend. It sucks that he's not a Jew. It just sucks....