Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How Many Fights Does It Take To Make Me End A Relationship?

3 (well, technically 4)...within a 3-week period...especially when I realized that this relationship was doomed from the taking back.

Let's start at the beginning:

Week #1: We make plans to hang out on a Friday night. At 10. After a long-ass day of work. And then we were getting up at 8am to go to the Aquarium with his parents.

He calls me at 8 that night to tell me that he's going to have to meet me at 11 instead (great) because the thing he was working on with his best friend was running longer than expected.

Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled. He sensed this, and later, when he called me to ask where I was, preceded to get annoyed that I was a tad annoyed. A TAD being the key word here.

The trip to the Aquarium was nice (at least I thought). Little did I know that he was holding a grudge about me being annoyed from the night before. I got the cold shoulder the entire time there (his parents are's a shame that they will never be my in-laws), and after the trip I went home.

Weirdness ensues...

Week #2: Finally, we have planned to hang out alone on Saturday after my in-service class. I get a text mid-class saying that he got a call from his brother telling him that he had to go to his sister-in-law's grandfather's birthday dinner. Now, a normal boyfriend would automatically ask me if I wanted to go (and not give me an option of staying home), but instead it took a very long time for me to coax that offer out of him. I told him that I couldn't really discuss it, and that I would call him when I got out of the class.

I called him on the way home, and he informs me that he already told his brother that I wasn't coming.

Huh? When did I say that?

We then entered into a huge fight that eventually ended with us grumbling that I would go (why the fuck would he tell his brother I wasn't coming???) and that we were both pissed at each other. I went to the dinner, and, even after apologizing for not understanding why it was important for him to be there, he still treated me like I wasn't there once we got back to his place.

Let us now enter into Awkwardland...

Week #3: After a very long phone conversation the following Tuesday about what was bothering both of us (in which he brought up the whole keeping kosher thing AGAIN, even though it was supposedly not an issue anymore), I felt like this was going to be the end of us. My party that I had came and went (all with no physical contact from him, during and after the party), and Sunday rolled around (aka the day before the death of our relationship).

I texted him to find out what time his friend's BBQ was on Monday. He had told me about it the weekend before, but I never gave him a response as to whether or not I was going. He texted me back, "I don't know, why?" I responded that I wanted to plan out my day.

This is the response I got: Why does it matter. You're not coming.


We then got into (over the phone) a screaming match that lasted a while. My friend was over, and it was nice to have a person present to see what I had been dealing with for the past 2 weeks. Nothing was resolved by the time I hung up on him, and when he texted me an hour later with a lame quasi-apology, there was still no invitation to the BBQ.

Why doesn't my boyfriend want me at these things with his friends? Does he not get that when you are in a relationship with someone, the other person shouldn't have to RSVP for things and that it is just assumed that they will be there (unless they say otherwise)?

The next day I decided that I really needed to talk. He decided to stay at his friend's BBQ instead of coming out to me (wrong move #1), and when he called me, he immediately went off on me as soon as I told him how upset I was (wrong move #2). After me saying something he found offensive ("Did I stutter?"), he hung up (wrong move #3). He called me back (I ignored him) and after checking the voicemail, I called him back. The conversation this time wasn't much different. He went off the minute I said anything that contradicted his point of view, and I got so frustrated with him, that I hung up after saying, "Go fuck yourself".

I have blocked him. MySpace, Facebook, IM...everything I can possibly do to prevent him from harassing me, I have done. I am so done with him. I can't be with someone who is so close-minded, so irrational, and so immature that they fight the way I did when I was 15. The difference here is that I don't fight the way I did when I was 15. I grew up, and know when to check what's going through my brain, and prevent it from coming out of my mouth.

So, while he was the most passionate boyfriend I have had, he was also a dick. I rather be alone and happy than miserable with him.

Side note: the day after we broke up, I received the invitation to the surprise party I was helping his mom plan. I had to RSVP (which I did, thankfully to voicemail), but he'll never know that I told his mom about the breakup (possibly before he did) because she can't tell him she spoke to me. Thank you surprise parties!!!